When Does Positive Thinking Turn into Toxic Positivity and How to Stop It

What are the cues and signs to recognize toxic positivity? How can it harm us and how do we deal with it?

When Does Positive Thinking Turn into Toxic Positivity and How to Stop It

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We all like positive and always smiling people. We strive to be like that ourselves more often. We like to laugh, to be happy, to believe in a bright future and to feel light-hearted. And that is wonderful. But when does positive thinking turn into toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity is an excessive and unhealthy focus on maintaining an extremely positive attitude while ignoring or devaluing real emotions and experiences.

Signs of toxic positivity:

🔴 Ignoring and denying real problems - toxic positivity leads to denial of problems and unpleasant situations that would somehow bring negativity.

🔴Positivity at any cost - it is about forcing positive thoughts, words and attitudes on both oneself and others.

🔴Concealment of emotions - those who strive to be entirely positive tend to conceal from themselves and others those emotions and feelings that do not match their positive conception.

🔴Experiencing guilt for not dealing with negativity. This is another sign that gives away toxic positivity.

🔴Neglecting others' feelings and emotions. In an effort to not allow anything bad in their life, one tends to deny both their own and others' negative feelings.

🔴Blaming others for being negative. Toxic positivity carries with it guilt, both of the person exhibiting it and of those around them. This is due to the inability to 100% eliminate all negative thoughts and emotions.

Common toxic positivity cues

Toxic positivity is also recognized in some specific cues. These are usually positive affirmations, which are wonderful in themselves. Used in the wrong situation, however, they easily become toxic. How would you feel if you lost your job, your home, someone close to you, your dignity, or were in another difficult situation and you heard this:

It's for the best!
Only good vibes!
Smile and everything will be fine!
Look on the bright side!
It could be worse!

How toxic positivity can hurt:

❌ Neglecting emotions - a person under the influence of toxic positivity tends to neglect their emotions and those of others. And this will undoubtedly distance them. It is also damaging to one's self-esteem and hinders self-growth.

❌Accounts for guilt and shame. A person who feels sad, anxious, or worried may add guilt and shame to the palette of unpleasant emotions for failing to deal with the negativity.

❌Feeling like a failure. Staying positive all the time is difficult even for Zen masters. For an ordinary person, it's practically impossible. Trying to completely erase all negative thoughts or feelings constitutes toxic positivity. And it inevitably leaves us with a sense of failure.

❌It can deepen sadness or anxiety. Unlived and repressed emotions can manifest as a ticking time bomb. When a person consciously suppresses their sadness, it doesn't go away, it just waits for an opportunity to emerge. And failing to remove it only adds more sadness and negativity.

How to cope:

🟢 The key to dealing with toxic positivity is to strive to see the good side of things, but without devaluing the negative. There are situations in life that will make us feel sad, anxious, scared, discouraged and even despairing. Experts advise that we should not try to "banish" these feelings at all costs. A good strategy is to let ourselves experience our emotions, and then try to find the positive and move on with a smile.

🟢 It's important to let others experience their feelings too. Instead of telling them that everything is for the best, we can listen to them and let them know clearly that we are there for them and that they are not alone or misunderstood.